Oh FFS, all the directory dumpers I tried to download are 404s or malware, and I don't feel like individually uploading each one, so have a couple zips.
Forests 'n' shit: http://www.4shared.com/file/Q-bO7wuS/forestwinterwalls.html
/x/-related and some viking shit, my current set of rotating walls: http://www.4shared.com/file/CLY2nj1n/nordlandhorrorshowwalls.html
If they don't work, use a non-fucked archive program like 7-Zip.
.....
Christ I hate my shit-ass upload speed. God damn living in the middle of nowhere, stuck with 3 mbps without paying $200/mo for satellite that will fail every time the sky isn't 100% sunny and clear.
So while I wait, have some random WH40 meets Star Trek: TNG:
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"UNLEASH THE BROADSIDES!"
"We don't have broadsides"
"We... Oh, COME ON, Brother Picard. Now you're just pulling my progenoids. Even filthy Eldar Xenos pansies have broadsides".
"..."
"Allright, what do we have?"
"We have a phaser array"
"Good, good. What is that?"
"It is a beam of intertwined dimensional technobablonium which..."
"A beam weapon, got it. How many we have? Twenty? Fifty?"
"... two".
"..."
"..."
"YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE, BROTHER PICARD"
---
".... the fuck is that?"
"A Bat'leth."
"So you use it to skin some kind of ginormo-orange on your home planet?"
"It's our ancestral weapon!"
".... weapon? Seriously, fuck this universe."
----
"And what is this? Your chief Techpriest only has a hairband in place of eyes. How long has he been in the Adeptus before transferring here? FIVE MINUTES?"
"Captain, requesting permission to put the transgressor in the brig"
"YOU AND WHICH TYRANID SWARM, YOU RIDGE-FACED ABHUMAN?"
two weeks later
"Oh, now I understand how Blindy McTechpriesterson blundered into his position; ANY asshole can do it. Watch me. "SIR, REVERSE THE POLARITY OF THE TACHYON FLOW AND ROUTE IT THROUGH THE MAIN DEFLECTOR DISH." What the fuck is this crate, My First Starship? Push Butan To Fix Negative Space Wedgie?
And apparently your fucking bridge is steam-powered, since you can actually peg your gauges and consoles are always blowing up. I like my power armor and all but by fuck it's annoying having to wear it on the bridge for every fucking duty shift. Emperor damn it.
-----
I just imagined the doors to the turbo lift opening and this Space Marine is crouched inside the poor lift barely containing his massive pauldrons. Like a man fitting in a shoebox.
And I lol'd.
--------
"Explain this to me one more time, brother Picard. We're going to talk, peacefully, to these... Romulans, a Xeno species that humanity has been at war with on multiple occasions and who have pointy ears like the accursed Eldar... And I'm not allowed to bring my bolter?"
--------
"All I'm saying is we finally found a use for him! He's not complaining, hell he said it was the most fun he'd since he came onboard! And we got him back safely from the wreckage."
"That may be so. But it doesn't explain why you enlarged one of the forward torpedo tubes to fit his frame, and it doesn't explain why the computer recorded you telling him that we had built him a 'special meditation chamber' 2 minutes BEFORE the hostile ship attacked."
"Would you believe... we got a cryptic warning from Q?"
"..."
"Temporal rift through which we got a signal warning us of danger?"
"..."
"We really wanted to shoot the overbearing son of a bitch into the nearest star?"
"Don't do it again. Dismissed."
--------
Captain Jean-luc Picard wasn't happy.
"Brother Flavius, can you tell me what happened to my command chair?"
"I don't understand, Captain"
"Ok, let's keep it simple. What is this, Brother Flavius?"
"A skull, Captain."
"A single skull?"
"A row of skulls, i'd say - a dozen, Captain."
"Exactly. A dozen skulls instead of the arm. And that?"
"that's the back of the chair, Captain."
"Yes. How is it different from the last one?"
"It's, um, marble? and laced with spinal columns, with a skull on top?"
"Indeed. Brother Flavius, I am not a fan of fake leather and I might have said something about redecorating, but this is pushing it too far. And where exactly did you get all those skulls?"
"I, um, found them?"
"Brother Flavius?"
"I found them."
"Oh, this is going nowhere. Dismissed. And send in the Romulan diplomatic delegation."
"Well... in a sense... they're already here."
"In. What. Sense?"
--------------
"OI YA GITS! WUTZ TAKIN SO LONG TO LOOT DIS HERE THING?"
"SORRY BOSS WE'S TRYING TO GO FASTA BUT DESE PUNY CLANKERS KEEP TRYING TO POKE US PLACES WIV THEIR POINTY STIKZ"
"I'LL GIVE YA POINTY YOU CRETINS! AVE OUR BOYZ OUT DERE FINISHED PAINTING DIS CUBE RED SO IT CAN GO FASTA?" smashes several Borg swarming over him with his power klaw "OH SOD OFF YOU LOT! I 'AVE A BORG SQUARE TO LOOT AND YOU KEEP STANDING IN ME WAY!"
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WE'Z DA BORK. WE'Z GONNA TAKE YER STUFF AN ADD YER DAKKA TO DA WAAAAAAAGH
WEZ COMM FER YER BOYZ ANN DAKKA
RESISTANNZ IS STUPID BUT WEZ LIKE IT!
-------------------
"Mr. Worf, return fire!" Picard was fast running out of options, the Klingon rebels had somehow managed to force the Enterprise onto its impulse engines, preventing warp travel in the area. It was an ambush, hey'd trapped the Enterprise and were now already waning the Federation flagship's shields.
"Weapon systems inoperable, Captain," Worf replied from behind the command chair, "our shields were not raised in time to stop the initial disruptor blasts, damage reports coming in now, sir."
"Captain," came LaForge's voice from the engineering bay, "we can't keep taking hits like this, shield power is failing and we're already risking a warp core breach."
"Options, I want to hear them," Picard asked of all bridge crew, "Commander Data?"
"Sir, perhaps if we attempted to open communica-"
He found himself cut off by the ship's first officer, notably absent from the Enterprise's bridge. It was a gruff voice, accompanied by a view of the marine's face upon the bridge's viewscreen, "Lord Commander Picard, it is time." Brother Flavius' suggestion brought merely a nod from picard before the battle brother closed communications.
In the transporter room, Ensign Wright engaged transporters, sending the Marine to the Klingon vessels.
Federation history records the engagement at Kr'ching'toch, where the Enterprise engaged and defeated five Rebel Klingon birds of prey without having to fire a single shot, as a miraculous boarding action by the, now largely decorated, Macrius Flavius. The only surviving records of this engagement are the recordings taken of from the Enterprise's external cameras, which show a series of Klingon vessels exploding without having been fired at.
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Oh yay it's finally uploaded!
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