I like it.

you seem to have some pretty all right foundation going.

one suggestion i have that sticks out to me most in your picture is the way you make the pencil strokes.
make sure the lines are even in direction and flow together. don't break them up. if you are shading an area, go directly to the edge where the shadow ends, don't fill in the remaining space after the fact. match the direction of the shading with every other piece of shading on the page. everything should go in one direction (or two, ONLY when crosshatching.)
you will be astounded at how muchbetter it makes the picture look.

same thing with the outlines. don't break your lines! one continuous, smooth line.

keep sketching, my friend.

Thanks for the suggestion, my hand gets tired after a while and i tend to do that with my lines, it is a bad habit : /

First of all...
RESIZE YOUR IMAGE. Seriously. If you want proper critique (or just for people to really get a good look at it without scrolling around), resize it so it's within most people's screen resolutions. A lot of people on /o/ seem to have this problem.
Anyway, the perspective is fucked. The window is not on the same plane as the wall, and the figures and the room itself are not on the same plane (Madotsuki and Masada just look like they put on top of a picture of the room, as opposed to actually in it). I know Masada's ship is not the most architecturally sound structure, and I can understand some exaggeration, but within reason.
Also, I'm not really a huge fan of that composition. I think you want the figures to be the focal point of the picture, but it's not really where your eye goes first. There's a huge block of white space on the left that doesn't need to be there. I'm not saying that THE FOCUS OF A PICTURE SHOULD BE DEAD CENTER ALL THE TIME DJFAS;LDK, but there's just a lot of negative space that doesn't really help your picture. Tell me, did you draw the figures, then the room around them? If you did, you should try sketching out everything first (just simple lines and the like) before really working in the details. It'll really help you.
Also anatomical problems. I'll keep this part short (unless you want me to elaborate). But Masada doesn't look like he's standing on his feet, and his lower body is at a different angle than his upper body. Faces do not have those proportions. Heads are not shaped like that. Learn realism before anime blah blah blah etc etc.

Well, I can see why you kept your name anonymous :/ I wasn't going for realism with this picture. I made his feet like that on purpose. If you look at the Characters of YN they aren't too proportional them selves. Masada for example has big thighs and tiny feet. I wasn't really looking for critiques If that's what you were assuming. Just a thread of pencil drawings. I did draw the characters before the background. (I don't usually plan my pictures). It started off as a Masada sketch. but thanks for the suggestion of a BG first. I'll try that some time.

>>2173
Don't pick on people for staying Anonymous - many people do. It's what boards like these were originally based on. Also? That anon was not picking on you or anything - every single thing they said was a valid criticism.
Even if you want to stylize his feet, unless you Masada magically floats, his feet do not look like there is any weight on them whatsoever, and his body weight isn't distributed on them properly. This is why, I'm guessing, the previous anon said "learn realism" - it's not because you should always draw realism, but because a solid foundation in how things actually look and work would improve your work when it's stylized.

I wasn't picking on them. I thought Yume Nikki was fun to draw 'cause i didn't have to always be so "proper". Masada isn't floating either, though looking back it does kinda appear that he is. I would fix it but I got some juice on it when i was eating a pomegranate.

>>2166 I admit that everything you posted WAS indeed, a valid critique. However, the negative things you pointed out about the picture were pretty amusing. You do not have to learn about realism before drawing anime. Bodily proportions are pretty much the same in any style of art, but all of that SERIOUSBUSINESS critique over a piece of YN fanart? You're being way too rational. Pretty much everything in this game is "fucked".

>>2173

>I wasn't going for realism

See attached image. If you want to draw abstractions (like anime), you need to know how to draw things unabstratcted. If you don't, it becomes painfully obvious that you're making a mistake and not taking artistic liberties. See everything that >>2174 said.
Also, I'm not saying STOP DRAWING ANIME FOREVER AND EVER. You can still do what you like, but if you want to improve you need to learn basics.

>I can see why you kept your name Anonymous

Actually, I just started namefagging. But I really don't care what you think of me for being honest. I'm not here to kiss your ass.

>I wasn't really looking for critiques If that's what you were assuming.

Then what were you here for? For people to tell you your art is amazing and praise you? If I point out your mistakes, though it may be harsh, it's better for you as an artist if you realize what you're doing wrong and address the issues. If you want asspats or brownnosing, go back to dA.

>>2176
I don't care what the subject matter is. There are obvious flaws here that should be addressed to help her.
I started drawing anime first. And you know what? It was awful. Then I stopped and started to learn the basics, and it has helped me to an exponential degree. The best anime artists are the ones who actually know their shit and abstract their art accordingly. The worst anime artists use their "style" as a crutch.

God xD
Anime isn't all I draw. I do practice realism.
I just wasn't going for it >o> not in this pic

>>2177 Oh my god. Why must you bring spaggle insanity wolf into this? Enough explaining, we get your point.

>>2179
It's a pretty good message for most of the folks on here.

Anyway, sorry for derailing your thread, OP. Didn't expect such a strong response.

>>2180
Though it seems as if you intentionally derailed it.

>>2191

are you having fun adding fuel to the fire, mister anon

>>2180 That's right. That "namefag" is wayyy too serious.

You guys having fun? xD