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896649 No.25   [Delete]   [Edit

Let the arnachy begin!
Smut thread a-go-go!

Last edited by moderator 10/09/01(Wed)20:41.

>> No.26   [Delete]   [Edit]

I had been visiting her for a about three weeks now, it was a long trek there but I felt the time we spent together was well worth it, I stayed over a few times and slept in the same bed as her.

Sometimes having intimate moments but we where so innocent about it, it wasn’t exactly me, but I liked pretending.

I remember her doing up our hair, exchanging hairstyles, trying on her clothes. We where such good friends from the start, only more intimate…
I didn’t mind it, I liked it truthfully, and I’ve only just begun to regret it.
She was so gentle when she kissed me, her face was so calm. Her blond ponytail would sometimes get in the way but we just laughed it off, it all seemed so okay, so innocent.

I remember we where sitting down on her floor my brow fringe entangled with her light blond hair as we faced each other with a determined but slightly worried look, unknowing what this would be like.
“Are you ready?” her voice light and confident whisper, her large marine eye’s gazing into mine. “Yeah, Poniko.” I replied in a whisper, exited not wanting to wait for it to begin. I moved closer into her face feeling us taking a final breath and plunging in. I kissed her softly at first, I was exited but I didn’t want to be forceful.
Poniko was soft and fragile, her lips weren’t an exception, we back and forth onto each other and before I lent my head catching her open mouth, hands reaching up my left slipping its way under her arm and onto her back gently circling my fingers feeling the green fabric of her sweater.

my tongue slowly made it’s way to hers, feeling a jolt of excitement as our tongues brushed and wrestled, both of us making quiet moans and squeaks, Poniko whining as she put her arms around my neck. I started to feel a heat, only a small spark but it felt so good. We continued tonguing each other for a good while, breaking for air some times but Poniko dragged me back in, wanting more. I couldn’t lie I wanted more too.

We broke for the last time finding drool down our cheeks, looking at each other with red panting faces. “Madotsuki…I feel funny, like I’m burning…”
I nodded partially understanding. “Where?”
“Here…” Poniko pointed to her crotch, I was starting to play innocent now I knew what was happening, and I think Poniko did too, she was just playing along.
“Show me, maybe there’s something wrong.” Poniko looked shocked as I said this but I reassured her that it’s probably fine.

>> No.27   [Delete]   [Edit]

Poniko struggled to get up and gave up and bundled up her skirt, not exactly showing me anything. “Well?” she asked tilting her head.
“I can’t see anything silly, open up.” I took her knees and gently pushed them apart revealing her white panties. She got wet very easily, she was starting to drip just from that, it was unreal. I knew what I was doing but I played dumb at the same time.
“Okay, here?” I reached out with the palm of my hand facing upwards rubbing her clit though her pants making her increasingly wet. Poniko moaned loudly “Madotsuki! Makes it worse!” she reached back and clung to her bed. I looked up quickly and wide eyed “you want me to stop?” she bit her lip looking away, almost looking guilty
“No, please do it.”
I took my index finger and ran it across her opening slit feeling her warmth, the tip of my finger pressing into her, teasing her entrance. She already started to buck, I moved up pressing against her clit, rubbing it slowly but forcefully. I wanted to hear her moan, I glanced up and I already saw that her shirt was up over her breasts playing with her hardened nipples as she looked down watching herself, moaning sometimes screaming in pleasure when I touched her.

“I’m going t have to get a better look at you, Poniko” I hummed, feeling myself burn with pleasure. Taking off her soaked panties, taking a look at her small pink folds, I lifted her up so that she was upright against me legs dangling around the sides of my head. Inwardly smirking, looking at her womanhood I breathed on it gently causing her to whine. It was very small, and almost a pastel pink “I looks so cute Poniko!” I giggled hand reaching around to her clit rubbing it and rolling it, hearing her cry out and shiver against me. With my other hand I teased her entrance; I waited continuing knowing that she wanted more than this. “M-Mado-tsuki! Please!” I looked up stopping everything. “Please! Put it into me!”
“Put what into you, Poniko?” I was being slightly cruel here seeing that she didn’t have a clue.
“Put your fingers into me!” she shouted blushing hard.
I nodded innocently pushing my middle finger into her, I already felt the tightening of her body, her inside was so soft and wet. I plunged my finger into her feeling around her, earning a few screams finding her right place. I wouldn’t let her have release yet though, I wanted to taste her…

I looked down at her my face so close to her slit, she whimpered as I breathed on it pulling my hands away. She looked up with begging eyes, “w-why did you stop?”
I scrunched up my nose am smiled not saying a word but laughing friendlily.
Opening my mouth as wide as it could go, I stuck out my tongue my hot breath landing on her small pink folds glistening with her juices. Licking up her whole womanhood she struggled her toes spreading outward creating a low throaty moan.
My tongue wriggling into her swirling around her trying to reach thither into her.
“Madosuki! Please I think I’ll pee myself!” smirked knowing what she really meant withdrawing from her “it’s okay” I took in a breath and placed my lips around her clit, sucking on it my tongue rolling it around, all I heard was Poniko screaming in pleasure, before she released into my mouth. Swallowing it gently I looked up through her sparse patch of pubic hair looking at her sweet little face, red and panting like a dog.

Putting her down onto the floor gently I smiled “do you feel better now?”
Poniko nodded and smiled just catching her breath “thank you…Madotsuki”
she got up quite quickly, I was possibly to burnt up to realise that she shouldn’t be able to do that “hey what are-?”
“Madotsuki, it’s your turn now.” I looked at her, her face wasn’t her own. It was harsh, diabolical and it was so tainted, it wasn’t the girl I knew before. I didn’t even realise that she was reaching for the light switch, then before I knew it.

“AAAAAAA”
oh dear god.
“AAAAAAA”
No.

(never my best, i don't get feedback on any of my writing so i'm expecting it to be a pile of shit)

>> No.28   [Delete]   [Edit]

A couple of little errors, nothing too big. After penning down a section, you should wait a couple minutes and then go back over it to catch some of your messups. Like for instance;

"we back and forth onto each other" Not wrong per se, but a little awkward. Might want to add a little clarification like "we pushed onto one another back and forth," or the like. Your call, but it does seem a little clunky.

There was another line that seemed like you missed a word. "Madotsuki! Makes it worse!" That's missing an object before 'makes'. It's unclear what is making 'it' worse.

Also; "My tongue wriggling into her swirling around her trying to reach thither into her." A lot of run-on here and stale repetition of 'her'. You could try chopping the sentence into two, dividing it with a comma and trying to add some flow or what have you.

Otherwise, most of the imagery is well-written and descriptive. Like I said before, a couple of errors, but mostly just simple things like uncapitalized letters where there ought to be an uppercase or an overlooked comma. Still good though.

Honestly, I love the bit of humor towards the end. Good ending to the story, I lol'd.

Oh, and lol @ me for srs critiquing smut.

>> No.42   [Delete]   [Edit]
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>> No.64   [Delete]   [Edit]

This is so sweet. <3

>> No.65   [Delete]   [Edit]
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>>64
really? i wrote a sequel but it's Uboa tentical rape, and after that Poniko bondage @W@
and then a train groping transexual madotsuki with most of the female cast. @W@
i will write vertialy anything solong as it's within Yume nikki.
since it's more for my shitty smut story on FF.net.
the more fucked up the better, i just want to see if i can write it.

>> No.116   [Delete]   [Edit]

>>65
...Why haven't you posted them yet? D:

>> No.117   [Delete]   [Edit]

well then, via request. i'll put up the sequel to it, the first time i ever tried to write tentical rape.

“AAAAAA”
oh god.
“AAAAAA”
no.

What ever it was in a blink of an eye Poniko had turned into this blob of black…of black…I don’t know what that thing was all I could tell is that it had a terrifying face and it was coming towards me. Adeline rushed though me scrambling to the other side of the room, that thing blocking my exit as it moved with a slow painful scream. Trying to avoid that thing tried darting around it. I tried. Something already had me in its grasp the darkness of the room pinning me down and working its inky tendrils against me. All I could focus on what that thing coming towards me face so indescribably petrifying. I didn’t realise how my binds where eating away at my clothes. I shuddered as it engulfed my legs struggling as hard as I could though gritted teeth, my arousal not gone but replaced with fear. It stopped maybe an inch or two away from my crotch, and it seemed to look down at me waiting, I looked up at that thing for an eternity panting and tearing up before regretfully saying
“No”

A large tentacle like mass shot into me making me scream in pain, the black mass convulsing inside of me with brute force not giving me a moments rest. As sickening it was I couldn’t help but feel pleasure, it was hitting all the right places eventually I was crying out in pleasure, loving its roughness, more and more tendrils came out winding around my body, squeezing it painfully tight. A large tentacle shoving itself down my throat, it made me gag hard it wanted me to suck it off, I swallowed and breathed painfully as it forced itself onto me.

I was jerked up suddenly my knees at the side of my head, making me watch this monster fuck me, fully exposed. Before I even realised another large tendril had forced itself into my ass, creating a horrible gargled scream as I choked, it wasn’t letting up it was continuing to pound into me senselessly like the one in my cunt. I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t move, I could only watch.

I didn’t think it could get any woes, it was so painful, but it did, it had to get worse.
Another tentacle rose from that monster, I was so confused there wasn’t anything left for it.

Then it came down to the entrance of my womanhood and I screamed I struggled in vain. I had to be bleeding by now, that already huge mass inside me, there was no way that I could accommodate another but it forced itself inside of me. Like two separate machines pumping into me feeling the other large tentacle in me against everything inside of me I gave up knowing it was hopeless to scream and struggle anymore.

It was like it could read my mind at that very moment it only added more and more into me these thick inky tendrils smeared themselves against my body and plunging into me, I was so glad that it could only fit two into my mouth but I couldn’t say the

>> No.119   [Delete]   [Edit]
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same for my crotch. God knows three, four maybe in each of my holes. I was completely numb. I orgasmed every few minuets, I had passed over the edge and couldn’t even make a sound, I was barely aware of what was happening.

The only thing what made me snap back into reality was when it stopped, and shuddered. It came into me, it spurted out my mouth as I tried to swallow in hope that I wouldn’t choke on it. White, burningly hot cum covered every inch of me, it filled my insides to the brim. It with drew from be but the tentacles in my crotch and it waited.

Within the blink of an eye the lights where back on and Poniko was covering my entrance. She had scotch tape in the other hand, fuck.

i don't whant to clog everything up so here's your porn on FF.
http://login.fanfiction.net/story/story_preview.php?storyid=6089071&chapter=1

>> No.120   [Delete]   [Edit]

Hey, I found your story on ff.n
Just to tell you...I was so happy when I saw that you linked it from here as well :)



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