>>4482
i have deprived myself of food and water before, for my misery. the time i tried it legitimately i lasted two days. i gave in because my father had cooked 5 different meals (??? y u do dis? whos going to eat them? owait me because im starving fuck).
so i need to get ready, too.
that is currently my problem, really; i have nothing i really am ready to starve for or fight for. I have no good interests or things that i like to do. I just do things because I am used to it.
im currently on a spiritual journey to find what i want to fight for. i firmly believe that to have a truly happy life you would have to find something like this to at least do in your spare time - something to live for, to make everything else worthwhile, you know? and making it into a career is the idealistic happy romanticized life.
I am a romantic. I know i am. but with my interests and my ideals, i am not, strangely. I think i hide them from myself, really - for whatever reason.
my friend is convinced that my problem is that i have nothing to remember, because my life was empty
but i feel like there is something there that i am missing.
sometimes people ask me questions and then this haze falls over me, and i cannot even manage stream-of-consciousness writing or speaking
it is quite troublesome and i can actually feel something hiding.
me too. guitar hero is my current favorite song by her. i like her solo stuff it's got some robust romanticism to it that isnt as rough and tumbly as dresden dolls
Last edited 10/12/02(Thu)20:09.